dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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