I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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