I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
