Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
