no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
