Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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