I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so that wasnt chicken after all
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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