States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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