a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
