Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
