Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
