you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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