shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
