One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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