I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We're too hungover to prance.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize