do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
