so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize