True but thats because hes a fetus.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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