maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
