AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
