I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
