I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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