forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
