I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
