he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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