I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
