i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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