Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize