never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
