Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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