she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
