yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
