38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
