3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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