I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
