He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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