??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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