i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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