Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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