Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
