Will you blow on my dice?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
