We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
