you guys were way drunker than both of me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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