i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
