It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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