Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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