Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
