I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
