I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize