We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
