I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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