He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize