My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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