I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
